"bad parent"ing advice

So, there are a few reasons I have yet to write about the rest of Daisy's first beach experience...

a. My internet has been down for the past two weeks
b. It took two weeks to speak to live, "on-shore" representative from AT&T
c. This:

Yeah, I'm not exactly expecting a "World's Best Mom" coffee mug for Mothers' Day next year...

If you missed my rant on Facebook, here's the story. If you were unfortunate enough to have to read it, I apologize. I tried to add a few extras in this version, and cut down on the rant. Sort of.

It all started when my mom (Nanni Phi) and I noticed that Daisy had started counting. Specifically to three. Wanting to encourage her, we immediately gave her whatever appealing objects we had on hand: three shiny pennies. You see where this is going already, don't you. Bear with me.

You see, up until the incident (as pictured above), Daisy had been fantastic about not placing small objects in her mouth. She even had (and still has, although now relocated on high) a rock collection composed of various pebbles, "looted" landscaping stones, etc. Some of which are quite small. But not a single time did I (or anyone else for that that matter) ever see her place these rocks in her mouth. Surely, she would control herself the same when handling pennies. Ahh, the blissful days of ignorance.

Counting pennies went on for two weeks. Occasionally, I (or someone else -seriously, I am not one-woman operation here) would see that a penny was missing. Oh no. You can guess where this is going again. I apologize if this is not the sort of "mommy blog" you were expecting...

So...assuming the rogue penny had joined her twelve pacifiers in never-never-see-again-land (No, wait -let's please not go down that road right now. Yes, she's almost two and still takes a paci. I just prefer the tranquility of silence over screaming. Call me crazy. But can we just address this another time? K. Thanks.)...

What was I saying? Oh yes, I (ahem! we) would replace the "lost" penny with another. I can hear your eyes rolling. Judge not, my friend. Lest thou have a piggy-bank baby yourself one day...

Like I said, this went on for a couple weeks. Then, one morning, while I was sitting in the living room, reading, I heard the most terrifying noise a parent can ever hear coming from beside me. Daisy was choking. 

I probably didn't do the correct, prepared mom thing, but I did do the first thing my shaking hands could manage: I flipped her upside down, patted her firmly on the back, and stuck my finger in her mouth in search of any obstructing object. 

And although nothing came out of her mouth, her desperate chokes were replaced by frightened sobs. I'll take that as sweet music any day. At least my baby is breathing. Thank God.

But while her cries were signs that she was getting plenty of oxygen, something was off. I just felt like that penny hadn't gone all the way down.

So I called her physician, Now this is where the potential for ranting begins. So I'll call a time-out and cut to the chase for second. If your child swallows ANYTHING. Whether you think it "went down" or not. TAKE THEM TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM.

Do NOT do what I did, which was this:

When the receptionist picked up, I asked right away to speak to my doctor. Rather than putting me through, she put me off with "may I ask what it is pertaining to?" I told her my baby had swallowed a penny and I suspected it was stuck in her esophagus. Then she hit me with "Dr. So-and-so isn't available, can I make you an appointment with her nurse practitioner". Looking back, I should have released my inner mama bear or hung up. But I didn't. 

When I brought her in, the nurse practitioner took her weight (I kid. you. not.), listened to her heart-beat, tried to read her blood-pressure, and lastly, checked her breathing (at least that one made sense to me). 

The one gleam of golden knowledge she gave me: If your child swallows a small object and it makes its way to the intestines, they should be able to pass it. (Please note that this does NOT apply to sharp objects or batteries.) On the other hand, should the object lodge itself in the esophagus, it will need to be "extracted" (she did not go on to explain exactly what this meant, and I was too frazzled at the moment to ask).

She then told me "since we can't tell where the penny is, she'll need to get an x-ray." "We"? I should have told her I could tell it was in her esophagus. But you know what they say about hind-sight. So instead I just said, "which way to the x-ray room?"

She said they didn't. have. one.

So we got referred to a radiology clinic.

Two hours and a half hours after Daisy had swallowed the penny, we (sorry, I forgot to mention that Daisy's concerned daddy had met us at the doctor's nurse-practitioner's) arrived at the clinic.

Once called back, we were greeted by the technician (We never even heard from the radiologist. Ranting, sorry.), who then took her x-ray, and who then told us he wasn't authorized to say anything about the image. We would have to wait for the doctor for that. When asked when we could expect the radiologist we were informed that since we didn't exactly have a scheduled appointment, it could be anywhere from 2-4 hours.

Thankfully, this is the point when my mama-bear instinct finally kicked in, and stayed in full gear for the rest of the day. So the hubs and I went right past him, and looked at the image on his computer (again, see above.) Glaringly obvious that it's in her esophagus. But wait...did you notice the one at the bottom right, making its way into her intestines? Yep, I'm afraid I'm a worse mother than you thought. Looks like she swallowed that one completely unnoticed the day before, judging by the advanced decent of it. Again, I'm not expecting to win any awards.

I told the technician we couldn't wait that long.  He apologized that he couldn't give me medical advice. I called my "physician" (again, not put through). The nurse said she would have to hear back from the radiologist. After 2-4 hours. I told her I couldn't wait that long.

Thank goodness the receptionist overheard all this and took pity. She pulled me aside and told me the one decent piece of medical advice I had heard all day: "Take her to the E.R. We don't perform extractions here anyway."

Half an hour later, we arrive at the E.R. Within two minutes of our arrival, a nurse calls us back. After ten minutes with her, we are taken to our room. Five minutes later, Daisy's extraction is scheduled. The only hold-up: the O.R. is currently occupied. So we wait a mere 30 minutes while Daisy, who is COMPLETELY unaware of the reason behind all this shuttling around, but is LOVING  having her daddy all to herself on a weekday and the absence of the word "nap," is running around in her hospital gown and latex gloves, pretending to be what I can only imagine was her impression of Dr. Dookie Howser.

Can I just say that not-for-profit hospitals are the best? Fabulous. Fantastic. Glorious. Especially the children's wing. We were introduced to every. single. person. that would be assisting Daisy and with her surgery. And they completely put our minds at ease. Which was good, because we were told we would not be allowed to accompany Daisy to the O.R. for her extraction -which would be performed while under sedation with the use of a scope. Easy-smeasy, the doctor told us. Well, maybe he didn't use those exact words, he might as well have. Because ten minutes after being taken to the O.R., the doctor came to tell us they were done already, and every thing went great. And we now had two "souvenirs" from the day's adventure.

That's right, "two". Turns out the penny in her esophagus was actually pennies, stacked together. But by now I feel like you probably saw that one coming too. Thanks again for not judging. And remember: if you ever find yourself in a similar situation, take your child straight to the E.R. They have doctors there, and x-ray machines, and surgeons who perform extractions. And I won't judge you one cent.

Penny-breath kisses (just kidding),

n&k

Stay tuned for Part II: The "passing" of the third penny!

(totally just kidding again)